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Recognising when a parent needs more help is rarely clear-cut. Changes are gradual, and many older people work hard to hide what they are finding difficult. These are the signs that families most often tell us they missed at first.
1. The house isn't being kept up
Unopened post, washing-up piling up, laundry not done or a garden that has been left to grow. If the home doesn't look the way it used to, everyday tasks may have become too much.
2. Weight loss
Look in the fridge and the cupboards. Out-of-date food, empty shelves or nothing but biscuits can mean meals are being skipped.
3. Missed or muddled medication
Full slots in the pill organiser, repeat prescriptions running out early or late, or confusion about what each tablet is for are serious warning signs.
4. Falls, bruises or near misses
Falls are one of the biggest risks for an older person living alone. Unexplained bruises, a new reluctance to use the stairs or hearing about a fall days later should all prompt a conversation.
5. Pulling back from people
Giving up clubs, church, friends or hobbies can be a sign of low mood, hearing or mobility problems, or worry about being out of the house.
6. Memory problems
Missed appointments, repeated questions or getting lost on familiar routes can be early signs of dementia. A GP appointment is the right first step.
7. Personal care slipping
Wearing the same clothes for days, not washing or looking unkempt often means bathing and dressing have become difficult or frightening.
8. Changes in mood
New irritability, anxiety or tearfulness may mean a parent is struggling and doesn't want to say so.
9. Money worries
Unpaid bills, final demands or unusual spending - including scam letters and phone calls - are a common sign that more support is needed.
10. You can't stop worrying
Trust your instincts. If you are lying awake worrying, it is time to look at the options, before a crisis forces a rushed decision.